I have been searching for answers to health problems for several years. Among my symptoms, the two that have wreaked the most havoc on my life are that I have been gaining weight no matter how hard I try to lose it, and I have been extremely sluggish and tired despite getting a full night’s sleep.

My symptoms:

  • Extreme daytime fatigue, even after a full night’s sleep
  • Weight gain
  • Difficulty concentrating/focusing
  • Memory loss
  • Sore/dry throat in mornings
  • Headaches in the morning
  • Insomnia
  • Nasal congestion
  • Intense sugar cravings
  • Involuntarily falling asleep during the day

These are the majority of the symptoms I’ve accumulated over the years (it didn’t start out this bad), and I told my doctors my symptoms. I have been on and off depression medication for years, I’ve been told to join weight watchers, I’ve been told to have gastric bypass surgery, I’ve taken several courses of prescription Vitamin D, and most of all, I have been told that all of these symptoms are “just because I’m a mom.”

You’re a mom. This is what happens when you’re a mom. You need to take better care of yourself.

ALL THE FREAKING DOCTORS

Do you know what the doctors never once suggested to me?

Sleep apnea.

Do you know what doing a quick google search of sleep apnea symptoms will show you?

If I can do a quick google search to figure out a likely culprit for all of my symptoms, why have my doctors never once thought to test me for sleep apnea? (Side note: Google any of the other symptoms I listed along with the words “sleep apnea” and you will find that they all correlate.)

The only reason I came to the conclusion that I did have sleep apnea was because my husband was diagnosed with it. When I was researching about it for him, I saw that I had so many of the symptoms – except I didn’t think I snored. So I brushed it aside, even though I felt like something was truly going on, and told myself it was just because I was a mom. Because that’s what my doctors told me.

My husband usually falls asleep before I do, but one night, I fell asleep first. The next morning, he told me that I had been snoring. I found a new doctor to go to (because the one I had most recently been to told me to join weight watchers and take better care of myself and asked if I need to get back on antidepressants because I cried while she talked to me about how hard motherhood can be – YOU DO NOT NEED ANTIDEPRESSANTS JUST BECAUSE YOU CRY SOMETIMES. Just sayin’), and I made an appointment.

I get to the appointment and tell her about how I keep gaining weight no matter what I do, and I’m always tired, no matter how much sleep I get. Before I can tell her I think I have sleep apnea, she starts talking about how I need to make lifestyle changes and that I qualify for gastric bypass surgery. She kept talking about the surgery and how effective it can be, but insurance doesn’t always pay for it so some of her patients have gone to Mexico to get it done…….I was flabbergasted. Finally I stopped her and said, “I do not want surgery, at all, that is an absolute last resort. I think I have sleep apnea.”

“Oh. Well, do you wake up with a dry throat?” “Yes.” “Do wake up with headaches in the morning?” “Yes.” “Wow, let’s get you an overnight sleep test and check that out.”

I did the sleep test, and lo and behold, I have sleep apnea.

Moral of the story: Do not give up seeking help if you feel like something is truly wrong. Do not let doctors override your instincts. They are not in your body – you are. Do not let doctors tell you it is in your head. Do not let doctors tell you that you have certain symptoms “just because you’re a mom.” My husband was never once told by his doctors that his symptoms were “just because he’s a dad.” They took him seriously. So go to new doctors. Get new opinions. Never stop searching if you feel in your bones that something is going on. I have heard so many stories of women being gaslighted by doctors, but they didn’t give up and found out they actually do have something going on – sometimes even life-threatening medical issues. Never stop searching for answers. And most of all, trust yourself. You know your body.

Now to just wait for a CPAP machine to feel better during a national shortage of…

You guessed it. CPAP machines.