This post is a transcript of an episode of my podcast, “Women Who Know.” This episode originally aired on September 21, 2022.
Welcome back you guys! I hope you’re enjoying the podcast so far. I realized that my previous 2 episodes were actually pretty long, so if you listened to those then you are awesome and I love you haha. I have a lot of thoughts, and when I am writing up what I want to say for this podcast, I don’t really pay attention to how long it gets. Then I record and it’s like, oh shoot, that was long haha. But it’s all good. I’m going to try to make this episode shorter than the last two, so we’ll give that a shot. Maybe I need to do two part episodes if I start getting too long haha. Let me know what you think or if you have any feedback! My email to contact me about this podcast is [email protected]. I love any and all feedback!
Utah traffic
Okay, so for today’s episode, I want to share three parables or life lessons I’ve learned from Utah traffic. Ha! I’ve heard lots of people complain about Utah traffic, and I guess since I’ve lived here since I got my license, I don’t really know any better? I’ve driven around California a few times, and that was bad, but that’s about the extent of my traffic pattern knowledge. But I do feel like Utah has gotten crazier every year with all the traffic and angry drivers and whatnot.
slow down
Anyways, my first traffic parable comes from an experience I had on the freeway. Traffic was moving along nicely when all of a sudden, the cars ahead of me started slowing way down to an eventual stop. I couldn’t see what was ahead of them, but I figured there was a reason for the slowing down and stopping, so I just waited. Then I look to the left of me, and there are a few cars that are trying to get around us! They don’t know why we’ve stopped either, but they weren’t willing to wait to find out. They were honking and going all the way into the left lane that had not slowed down as far as we had yet. I was in one of the middle lanes. Well, they ended up having to slow down and eventually stop as well because I passed them as we creeped along the freeway.
After going really slowly for a while, I get to a certain area and am able to see what the problem was. There were a couple of boxes – not made of cardboard but of plastic – and they were blowing around the freeway in different directions because the winds were so strong. Nobody knew where the boxes were going so everybody just had to slow down to make sure it didn’t cause any issues or freak anyone out into swerving and hitting other cars. As I was slowly going through this area with the boxes tumbling around, there were still cars coming down the left lane extremely fast and almost hitting the boxes and swerving to miss it, which was also dangerous because they could’ve hit other cars. It was such a weird thing to have happen, but after I got through the area of crazy boxes, I thought there was a lesson behind it all.
The cars that first saw the boxes and slowed down knew that it would be dangerous to drive quickly through that area. They drove carefully and gave each other space to get around the boxes. They paved the way and knew what needed to be done, and their brake lights send a message, right? Slow down, there’s danger ahead! We can see it, even if you can’t! If the cars behind them heeded the warning, then they would be able to slow down and see what the cars ahead were doing so they could figure out what they needed to do to get through safely. The people who drove past impatiently and didn’t care about the warning ended up being in more danger and putting everyone else in more danger. They had to brake more quickly and hope that the people behind them speeding ahead would do the same so they wouldn’t crash into them.
listen to the wisdom of others
This was a good reminder to me to heed the warnings and counsel of people who have gone before us. Our parents, grandparents, any other mentors and family members and friends who have experienced things that we haven’t yet experienced. They can see things that we often can’t. Their advice and warnings shouldn’t be discounted! We should slow down and consider what they have learned and what they have to say, rather than plough through without giving their words any thought. I think we too often take for granted the experiences and counsel of the generations before us. We don’t learn from history and then we end up repeating it! M. Russell Ballard once said, “When you are willing to listen and learn, some of life’s most meaningful teachings come from those who have gone before you. They have walked where you are walking and have experienced many of the things you are experiencing. If you listen and respond to their counsel, they can help guide you toward choices that will be for your benefit and blessing and steer you away from decisions that can destroy you. As you look to your parents and others who have gone before you, you will find examples of faith, commitment, hard work, dedication, and sacrifice that you should strive to duplicate.” (Ballard, M. Russell. April 2009. “Learning the Lessons of the Past.”) We really can learn from the life and examples of those who have gone before us!
And, to extend this even further, we need to heed the voice of the prophet, who is currently President Russell M. Nelson. He can see things that we cannot. When he asks us to do or not do something, there is a reason! We would be wise to listen and follow him. The same goes for the scriptures. There are so many lessons and warnings in the scriptures from those who have gone before us, who have lived life and experienced so much. President Ballard says, “How much better your life will be if you follow the noble example of the faithful followers of Christ such as the sons of Helaman, Moroni, Joseph Smith, and the stalwart pioneers – and choose, as they did, to remain faithful to your Heavenly Father’s commandments.” If we follow the prophet and learn from the scriptures, we will be so much wiser and more able to navigate life!
To end this life lesson, I want to share one more quote from President Ballard, “Learning the lessons of the past allows you to walk boldly in the light without stumbling in the darkness. This is the way it’s supposed to work. This is God’s plan: father and mother, grandfather and grandmother teaching their children; children learning from them and then becoming a more righteous generation through their own personal experiences and opportunities. Learning the lessons of the past allows you to build personal testimony on a solid bedrock of obedience, faith, and the witness of the Spirit.”
run your own race
My 2nd life lesson comes from an experience where I was driving on a two-lane road where the speed limit was about 50 miles per hour. I was headed towards the freeway, just enjoying the drive, and then I look in my rearview mirror, and there’s a white car tailing me super close. Whenever someone tails me, I’m the kind of person that likes to slow down haha, so I did…and there was a car to the left of me that was going about the same speed as me, so this white car was stuck. Eventually the car to the side of me either went faster or dropped behind, and the white car was able to go into the other lane and pass me. I was kind of relieved because I hate it when people tail me, and I watched as the little white car sped ahead of me out of sight.
This road I was on doesn’t have a stop light for a good stretch of time, so I was just driving along and then I get to the stop light and it’s red. And guess who is the car right in front of me? That little white car! I thought it was so funny that this person had tried so hard to speed ahead of me, and then we ended up in the same place at the same time anyways. The light turned green, and everybody starts going, and this little white car starts trying to weave ahead of everyone else, and then we hit another red light, and the white car is only 2 cars ahead of me. I watch for the length of two more red lights as this white car tries so hard to get ahead of everybody but only ends up getting stuck. You know when you’re trying to pass a car, and you go into the other lane to pass them, but then end up getting stuck behind a different car? That kept happening to this person, and it was so interesting to me. Eventually we both ended up getting onto the freeway at the same time, and this car was directly in front of me. All that effort and frustration – you can tell by the way people drive that they’re frustrated, right? – and once again, we ended up in the same place at the same time. Just getting on the freeway.
This wasn’t the only time I’ve experienced something like this, but this was the longest time period that the speedy car and I were going the same way. I’m not trying to say this person is terrible or a bad driver, and maybe they had a completely perfect reason for trying to get ahead of everyone, maybe it was even an emergency. For my example we will pretend that it wasn’t an emergency, but that they just wanted to get ahead. All I want to talk about is the lesson that I learned behind all of it: if we are living life trying to get ahead of everyone else, we will be disappointed. When I am so focused on what other people are doing and try to do it before them or think that I need to be better than them, then I am living a very sad life. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” In reality, as we live life, we are not in a race against anyone else. Like literally, just pause for a second and breathe that in. We are not in a race or competition against anyone. Now breathe out the comparison and competition and let it go.
Elder Uchtdorf gave a talk in the priesthood session of General Conference years ago, and I’ve edited the quote a little bit because it applies to women too. He said, “…we must realize that all of God’s children wear the same jersey. Our team is the brotherhood [and sisterhood of mankind]. This mortal life is our playing field. Our goal is to learn to love God and to extend that same love toward our fellowman. We are here to live according to His law and establish the kingdom of God. We are here to build, uplift, treat fairly, and encourage all of Heavenly Father’s children.” (Uchtdorf, Dieter F. October 2010. “Pride and the Priesthood.”) We are all on the same team. Our motivation in the things we do should NOT be to get ahead of anyone else or to prove that we’re better than anyone else. That’s such a sad way to live! Just like my little white car friend. They didn’t actually get ahead, and they dealt with a lot of frustration and potential dangers on the way. They were more focused on getting ahead than they were on being safe or being patient or being mindful of others around them.
When we live life as if everything is a competition, what are we actually competing for? What really matters is our eternal progression and eventually, our becoming like our Heavenly Parents and living with Them and our families in eternal life. There are not limited spots for this, and there is no race to get there first! We are all welcome! It’s not possible for you to get ahead of anyone else on this journey because everyone is on their own individual path. We can help each other along, but we can never “get ahead.” So if we think everything in life is a competition, then we are competing for nothing of actual eternal worth. Let’s move together in harmony along the road of life and cheer each other on for our victories and help each other through our failures. We are all children of Heavenly Parents, spirit brothers and sisters, and the Lord does not want to see us clamor and compete for things that don’t actually matter.
heed the whisperings
My final traffic life lesson just happened last week, at least at the time of me recording this podcast. It was a sad day because my family’s puppy died. His name was Charlie, and we got him when I was only 15 years old. He lived a long and wonderful life, and he was such a good dog. It was really hard, and I felt like I needed to be there for my parents and sisters, so I went to my family home at night. On the way there, I was pulling into a stoplight into the empty left turning lane, and I had the thought to stay really far back from the front of that lane as I watched cars turning in to go the opposite direction cut off the lane I was going into. I hope that made sense. Anyways, I stayed REALLY far back, and as I watched these cars, I thought, “I’m so far back, why did I stop so far back? I should move forward…” but then I felt constrained. So I just stayed there, when all of a sudden a car makes the turn really quickly before the light turned red, but instead of turning into the lane it was meant to go in, it started driving straight at me in the turning lane. I honked quickly and they had enough room to move into the correct lane, and I didn’t get hit head on! I was in shock for a little bit, but then I just felt so much gratitude! It could have been so much worse, and I am so grateful that the Spirit told me to stay so far back from the front of the lane.
My lesson from this one is simply yet so important, and it’s just to listen to the promptings of the Spirit. As we follow these promptings, we will receive more and more guidance. Elder Richard G. Scott once said, “Impressions of the Spirit can come in response to urgent prayer or unsolicited when needed. Sometimes the Lord reveals truth to you when you are not actively seeking it, such as when you are in danger and do not know it. However, the Lord will not force you to learn. You must exercise your agency to authorize the Spirit to teach you. As you make this a practice in your life, you will be more perceptive to the feelings that come with spiritual guidance. Then, when that guidance comes, sometimes when you least expect it, you will recognize it more easily.” (Scott, Richard G. October 2009. “To Acquire Spiritual Guidance.”) As we use our agency to follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost, we will get better and better at hearing and listening to His voice. And that is more important than ever right now! Our prophet, President Nelson, has said, “…in coming days, it will not be possible to survive spiritually without the guiding, directing, comforting, and constant influence of the Holy Ghost.” We need to have the guidance of the Holy Ghost, it is essential and vital to our lives in these latter days.
So that’s it my friends. My three traffic parables: learn from those who have gone before you, stop competing and comparing, and listen to the Holy Ghost. I hope you have a fabulous week, and I will talk to you next Wednesday!
